Latest: Dissident Dutch author A.H.J. Dautzenberg alleges serious malpractice on the part of Tim Ballard in his new exclusive: Gruesome Consequences of a Hysterical Witch Hunt, in which mistreatment of his friend Marthijn Uittenbogaard and his partner is also exposed. Both remain incarcerated in Ecuador on trumped-up charges. Legal process has recommenced (see updates).
Accounts and Testimonies
This list is intended to be used as evidence of positive relationships, and also to demonstrate that when harm does occur, it is not caused by the activities themselves if such activities are thoroughly non-violent and consensual. Please note that this is not intended to be an unbiased and wholly accurate study of sexual activities between minors and adults. Accounts vary in credibility, some of them being anonymous (the reasons for which, may be understandable) and others being the spoken or written word of one or more known persons. We also act as a hub for other publishers of said accounts.The accounts are divided into sections for easy retrieval, and may require an archive search if the links have fallen dormant.
- Testimony: Adult Male with Minor Female: Man-Girl sex experiences.
- Inside: "Why should I feel guilty about the wonderful relationship I had with that man ... right up until his death?."
- Testimony: Adult Male with Minor Male: Man-Boy sex experiences.
- Inside: "It was clear that it certainly felt good to both of us. ... In some way it was a real lifesaver, because it made me feel that love and affection and closeness and sex would be possible in my life. ... when we were together, it was like a little oasis where we could be ourselves."
- Testimony: Adult Female with Minor: Sexual experiences of youth with women.
- Inside: "The only fault I find with that part of my sexual education was the limit her guilt and fear put on our pleasure, the heterosexual pressure even she felt required to put on me. What she did "for my own good" caused both of us pain. If I were to improve on that experience now, it would not be to protect children from adult seduction but to make adults easier to seduce, less burdened with fear or guilt, less defended by hypocrisy."
- Testimony: CSA (Children's Sexual Advances): Focuses on some, but not all of the cases where the younger partner made an advance.
- Inside: "It developed over time and was great. We became friends and I invited him over once when my parents weren't home. I practically had to force sex on him because he was afraid about losing his job. Ended when I went away for the summer and he wasn't a teacher at my school no more."
Experiences among children and youth
- Testimony: Expressed childhood sexuality.
- Inside: "I have naturally craved sex...sexual touch, through all stages of my conscious life. I do not remember any phase during my childhood, when I was without sexual attraction and arousal. It was very natural, and spontaneous. I never disliked it, though I learned to hide it from others."
- Testimony: Non-expressed childhood sexuality.
- Inside: "The experience of sexual arousal as a child [at 6] is one of my sexual experiences. Whenever my girl friends and I would look at books while playing, I would always choose the book Little Black Sambo. The picture I am referring to is that of the tiger chasing Sambo around the tree as he is melting into butter. The tiger has previously taken all of Sambo's clothes. The sight of the nude little boy's rear end is what excited me."
Attraction as an experience
- Testimony: Experiences of chronophilias.
- Inside: "I was open minded then about willingness to change my sexual orientation and participated sincerely but, of course, discovered that sexual orientation is deeply rooted in a person's being and not subject to behavioral modification. All this program did was exacerbate cognitive dissonance and create a great deal discomfort with myself, deflating self-esteem."
Other publishers of accounts
Other websites and texts exist, in which individuals testify of sexual experiences and attractions between adults and minors, and also youth sexuality. The resources here supplement the above lists, and may have some overlap:
- Consenting Juveniles - New website focusing on verified accounts of high-profile individuals - bravely endorsed by numerous professionals.
- Jumima - A new site documenting 200+ man-boy experiences. Might be broken, and we hope it will return. Here is an archive and ZIP file download.
- The male adolescent involved with a pederast becomes an adult - Ralph Tindall PhD (9 accounts).
- Theo Sandfort - Landmark study of a number of man-boy relationships.
- The Man They Called a Monster - Paul Wilson's book about a man who specialised in casually seducing boys.
- JackinWorld Biographies - Short sexual autobiographies focusing on masturbation. Many examples of expressed and unexpressed childhood sexuality.
Archived here or elsewhere
- Positive Memories (a freely available book, now withdrawn from publication due to the author's personal situation) - Similar resource with around 150 accounts and some overlap. See also web archive for html versions, and this archive.
- PRD - Over 40 accounts, translated from German.
- Also, see our other archive, Child's Perspective: From Cerius.org.
- All About Sex - "Abuse and trauma" isn't the only section of this long-abandoned board, but as can be seen, most of the (unverified) experiences do not match that description.
- My Secret Garden: Women's Sexual Fantasies. Nancy Friday (Simon & Schuster, 1973). A collection of women's fantasies obtained through letters, tapes and personal interviews. Contains a large amount of frank, non-condemnatory discussion on sensitive topics such as sadism, bestiality, childhood sex, and sexual fantasy from childhood to adulthood.
Girls with adults, or others
- The Clitoris - Females on early sexual experiences.
- BK Girls - Only some of these are stored in the archive.
Boys or others with men
- Age Taboo - Many accounts, varying greatly in type.
- BL.net - The forum provides a large number of positive anecdotes.
- Testimony: BoyMoment - A small number of anecdotes.
- Men loving boys loving men - Multiple man-boy accounts (Researched by the gay activist Gerald Hannon)
These excerpt graphics document verifiable positive experiences (information on record about publicly known individuals).
James Dubro - Positive Memories (14 male with 22 male, gay sex) with a long-time pederast who he never knew to act abusively