Essay:A Response To A Person Who Expressed Concern Over Intergenerational Attraction
The following is a grammatically corrected and slightly edited copy of a response I made to a woman who had two bad experiences with adult men when she was underage, and then asked questions to the MAA [Minor Attracted Adult] community, specifically Girl Lovers [GLers] on the GirlChat [GC] forum. The questions from the woman are in bold face, with my comments and responses made in standard text. It begins with my response to her initial respectful but guarded query to the forum.
Welcome, and thank you for your questions. Strictly speaking, I'm not a pedophile, but a hebephile...that is, an adult with a romantic preference for adolescent girls. Since this includes some girls who are 12, and you had a bad experience at that age, I will step in here and give you some answers in addition to all of the great responses you have received here from genuine pedophiles.
When I was about eight, an unknown man tried to make me go into his car so he could "take me to the beach" *I was on my way to the public pool* and insisted about it until I run away in tears and scared out of my mind. I never talked to a stranger again during the rest of my childhood and my early teenage years. Then another man, this one known by my family, tried to touch me *and I'm not talking about my arm* and even offered me money to go with him, saying that he was being generous because I was "fresh" and that he could find a hooker for way less but he liked me better. I was twelve then and could confront him. He left me alone when I threatened him to call the police if he ever dared to even look at me or any of my friends again.
This man doesn't sound like a typical pedophile to me. He sounds more like some creep with a purely sexual fetish for little girls. Most pedophiles are not like this. It's possible the man was a pedophile, but 90% of all adults who commit these crimes are not real pedos. Pedos CAN be bad people, just like people from any group can be bad, but MOST pedos are decent people, just like most blacks, most Jews, and most homosexuals are decent people. To be honest, I had a bad experience with a homosexual man when I was a few months shy of my 18th birthday, and this occurred soon before I graduated high school; he unsuccessfully tried to pick me up in his car as I walked home from school on two separate occasions. As a result, I had negative opinions of gay men for a while, but that changed in time because I came to realize that not all gay men are like that. Many people who are attracted to little girls [LGs] or adolescent girls [AGs] are good people who would not try to force themselves upon a girl or impose unwanted attention upon one. In fact, if you read the posts here carefully, you will see that most pedos and hebes believe in letting the girl initiate the contact first, if it was legal to do so. But since it's not legal, and since responding to such advances would put us in jail and have the girls forced into brainwashing “therapy” if the incident was found out, we refrain from engaging in such illegal sexual activities.
There is a huge difference between someone forcing their attentions on a girl and mutually consensual sexual activity between two people. Most girls who engage in mutually consensual sexual behavior with adults have reported much different experiences than girls who were forced into having sexual contact with someone against her will (that is, until the girl is forced into “therapy” and brainwashed into hating her former lover, along with all adults who have his attraction base, and the very idea of this particular attraction base in general). Too many people have had negative experiences with non-consensual contact and then turn against intergenerational contact in general, ultimately developing a deep hatred for love and sexual contact between the generations—and all based on an experience (or two) with non-consensual contact. As a related example, some men who were raped in prison by other men who were likely not even genuinely homosexual sometimes developed a deep hatred for all homosexual contact, all the while not considering that there is a big difference between how people experience non-consensual as opposed to mutually consensual sexual activity of any sort. Sexual activity between the generational gap can be quite harmful if the younger person was unwilling (as you well know), but it can also be very beautiful and life-affirming if both people were willing and shared a mutually strong desire for the contact (which you do not seem to be aware of, due to a combination of your negative personal experiences and what you have read and watched in the media).
Of course, with the law being the way it is today, all such contact is demonized as being "abusive," and when people read about this in the media it creates a heavily distorted picture of intergenerational love and sexual contact.
These two episodes have been in my mind since then and I still can't understand why someone can be sexually attracted to a little girl.
Personally, I don't understand how a male could be attracted to another male. But I understand that it exists and I accept it as a valid form of love and sexual pleasure between two people who both have this as a natural orientation. Pedophilia is a natural orientation, also; it in no way fits the criteria for a mental illness despite being included in the DSM [Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel, the “bible” for mental health professionals in North America and even abroad] for purely political reasons. I'm not attracted to pre-pubescent girls myself, but I accept it as a natural orientation just as I accept homosexuality despite not “swinging” in that direction either.
When I see one of them, I just think of princesses and cardboard castles, tea parties, playing with mom's make-up and things like that. I thought about it a thousand times but I still can't understand why anybody would be aroused by them, they're so tiny and fragile, an adult would hurt them if s/he tried anything sexual with them.
As I understand pedophilia from my years of participating in this community, most pedos actually have sexual desires on the level of a child. This means that they most often do not want to have sexual relations on the same level as two adults would have it, i.e., via sexual intercourse. I agree that many, if not most, LGs are too physically fragile for sexual intercourse with an adult, and most pedos I know do not desire adult-level sexual interaction with a LG. They prefer mutual cuddling and kissing more than anything else, and would probably not be averse to mutual touching, but generally desist from touching any "private" areas to avoid breaking the law. Low-level 'outercourse' like this would not "break" a LG, and most pedos would probably be happy with simple cuddling, kissing, and hand holding. As for those social aspects of a LGs' lives that you mentioned (e.g., tea parties, playing with mom’s make-up, etc.), most genuine pedos have a strong interest in a LG’s social life and find this appealing, albeit in a different way than you. I'm not sure myself how this translates into an overall romantic interest in LGs, but some people feel that I'm "out of line" for finding the various social aspects of an AG's life to be appealing in the same sense. I'm not sure if you are attracted to men or women (or both), but if you are attracted to men, I'm sure that you find many aspects of their typical social life (e.g., watching sports on TV, their frequent fascination with cars) to be appealing in ways that I and other heterosexuals wouldn't understand.
Also, trying on make-up can be interpreted as a LG's way of trying to act more "grown up."
They don't even understand sex yet! *please, don't try to prove me wrong on this point, I have a niece who's 6 and I know for a fact she doesn't understand what it is*
Let me ask you an honest question: has your niece been sheltered in any way? Has she been educated about her body properly in school? Or is she forced to learn everything from peers? I think whether or not a six-year-old girl would know anything about sex depends on a lot of factors; e.g., what type of family they were raised in, what type of school they went to (i.e., what the curricula consisted of), the knowledge base and experiences of the peers they hang out with, what they watch on TV, etc. I have known girls that young who surprised me with their knowledge of sexual matters by saying things that astounded even me and caused my jaw to drop to the ground.
Also, have you ever considered that your niece may possibly be afraid to let you know what she knows about that subject, because she is well aware that you would disapprove of it if you did know, and perhaps she fears you would love her less or shatter the “perfect” image you have of her if she let you know how much she really knew? Kids will often say or avoid saying things depending upon how they suspect the adults in their lives would react. Maybe she is aware that she is not "supposed" to know about anything sexual. I'm not saying that she has thoughts about adult-level sexual activities, but she may be aware of simple means of seeking pleasure. When I was six years old my friends and I made a pastime out of telling "dirty" jokes to each other in private, and of discussing things we weren't "supposed" to know out of earshot of all adults. So it's possible that your niece is not as totally in the dark as you think (or would prefer to believe, as the case may be).
Reading this board, I have to say I'm scared of letting her go out of my sister's house anymore. I'm sorry but things like "OMG! That 8-year-old girl is HOT!" or "I saw a LG wearing a dress and she was wearing white cotton panties, nice view!" scare me. A LOT. With this I'm not saying you should go to jail or anything like that, in case you're just talking about it or thinking about it. But I can't help to be scared of it. I hope knowing the answer to my questions can take the fears away or, at least, make them smaller.
I have often told the posters on this board to please be careful of how they express the sexual side of their interest in girls, and I also frequently remind them that this forum is a public board that is read by many, many people who may well be scared or "creeped out" by any sleazy or seemingly disrespectful comments towards underage girls that they read. When I say this, I will receive much agreement but I also usually get a response from someone who tells me that it doesn't matter what we say or do on these boards because we're going to be hated no matter what, so we might as well make all the sleazy and crude comments about girls that we want. In other words, they argue that the quality of our behavior ultimately makes no difference at all to the general public’s perception of us. You're living proof that it does matter very much what we say and do on these public boards, and that how we express ourselves in public can make the difference between terrifying a Non-MAA [Minor Attracted Adult, our community’s political blanket term for both pedophiles, hebephiles, and nepiophiles] who may be "on the fence" on this issue and possibly turning them completely against us, or having them gain a more sympathetic view of an attraction base they are not familiar with by seeing the very real human side most of us have that includes a huge degree of respect and admiration for all aspects of a girl’s being, not just those relating to their physical attractiveness. Hence, being respectful in what we say in public can help make a fence-sitter or someone seeking objective information about us feel more comfortable with us as a community and developing a more positive view of both the sexual component of our attraction base, along with youth sexuality in general.
Also, some of us here are so angry with the general public over the way we are treated and perceived that they have developed as little respect for the public as the public has of us, and are therefore appalled at the thought of utilizing self-control in regards to what they say or do on this board, and do not care in the least if they offend the general public with what they say. I'm sorry that some of the less respectful people here got you scared...I can assure you that the vast majority of us in this community are very respectful of girls and take great care in how we present ourselves publicly, and particularly how they would present themselves with girls privately if such was legal. If you read enough posts on this board you will see the immense level of respect that typical MAAs of every stripe have of girls in their respective age of attraction [AoA]. You will also see that many of us support more civil rights for young people, not simply so we can have unfettered sexual access to youths (though many of us do want the right to have mutually consensual relationships with youths in our respective AoA, and this is a normal human desire that all human beings share), but it's more about wanting to see the people we love be allowed to reach their full potential and be considered full citizens of their respective nation rather than treated like emotionally fragile china dolls and denied full citizenship based upon the arbitrary factor of their chronological age regardless of their individual merits or general level of competence.
You have no reason to be scared of letting your niece outside, as most real pedos would be disgusted at the treatment you received by those two men you mentioned in your past, and would have come to your defense had they been there. Most pedos who were attracted to your niece would truly care about her well-being, just as you do.
Why do you think you're attracted to LGs? Please, don't answer that with "Just because" or "Why are you attracted to men/women?" because I can answer that. I really want a truthful answer to this one.
To explain why I am attracted to AGs: for me, hebephilia is a natural orientation, or perhaps just a preference within the general framework of the typical heterosexual attraction base (in my case, as there are homosexual and bisexual hebephiles too, of course). I think AGs are the most wonderful, creative, and appealing human beings on this planet on all conceivable levels, and I think they are much more attractive on a physical, emotional, social, and spiritual level than most adult women. I would opine that pedophiles feel this way about LGs, just as mainstream gay men feel this way about other men and mainstream adult lesbians feel this way about other women, even those of different orientations cannot quite understand it from their own perspectives.
If a pedophile molests/has sex/tries to have sex/takes nude pics of a LG *I'm not talking about a teen here, I'm talking about a child*, do you think that is a correct behaviour?
When you use the term "molests" I am presuming that you mean non-consensual sexual contact. I believe that non-consensual contact obtained via force or coercion (or a combination of both) is always wrong and should be punished by an arrest and a jail sentence. As I noted above, I do not think that mutually desired contact that is on the level of a child is inherently wrong, though I encourage all pedos to refrain from such activity in today’s world because of the way the current system treats such contact, and virtually all pedos, hebes, and nepis I have known in the community are fully law-abiding.
As for nude photos, I believe that it is a legitimate form of art that should not be criminalized or discarded simply because an MAA may fantasize about the girl (or boy) in the pic. Recently, there was a story from Australia where an 11-year-old girl defended the artistic nude photos her professional photographer mom took of her when she was six years old (the same age as your niece). The prohibition line should, in my opinion, be limited to non-consensual behavior or any type of behavior that could physically injure a LG, or to place any LG (or AG) in a situation that they do not personally want to be in.
Are you sexually attracted to other people/things/whatever or just LGs? If the answer is yes, do those interests have anything in common with the one discussed here? Why?
Like many hebephiles, I am also attracted to legally adult women from ages 18-early 30s (though rarely above that, unless they look and act particularly young for their age), but the attraction level decreases exponentially as the age of the woman increases. Since I am not normally attracted to LGs (as opposed to young AGs), I would presume that it's much easier for you to understand how I could be attracted to AGs, since they are basically young adults with the same general physical and emotional features.
Thank you for asking us questions and taking the time to get to know us. Some of us may respond with angry posts, but this is to be expected when you consider the degree of misunderstanding and persecution that is directed at us on a regular basis. And I know that you were primarily interested in hearing from pedophiles, but I figured that you would like to hear the perspective of a hebephile who supports the fair and objective treatment of pedophilia (and nepiophilia) too.
Note: The above woman (or poster who claimed to be a concerned woman, though there was no major reason to doubt this) responded to the offer to register on GC in order to continue posting there and join our discussions, and did so under the nick MeMyselfandI. However, she rarely posted afterwards under that nick, and at this writing has not participated in discussions on GC for a very long time.