Walking a Million Miles…

November 12th, 2007 by Steve Diamond

Doctor Edward Brongersma once noted, the abrupt dismissal of his work (his research, books, etc) by a reporter…

…The grounds, upon which this hasty dismissal was based, you might be wondering…was the simple fact that Dr. Brongersma, himself, was a passionately engaged member of the very class of people, who he was advocating (some would say, championing)…

As is to me…it was also to Dr. Brongersma, a very curious and perplexing stance to take…

Oh sure…I understand…many people think there is a hidden agenda…and it just absolutely must be the most horrible thing imaginable…

…for which, “children will be killed, and probably eaten, too”…

How to put peoples minds at ease?…that is the question…

…and I don’t have any magical answers, nor is that question the inspiration behind this post…but, I only thought it fair, to give a general nod, to this pestering dilemma…I know there is a lot of distrust, and many different viewpoints.

…but, getting back to the question of disqualification…

It never made any sense, that an entire subculture of people be silenced…or that their own input, be disregarded.

As Dr. Brongersma said [and I am paraphrasing, this is not a direct quote]…

…”Do we tell a man who has been married, that he should not speak, or write, about marriage?…Do we tell him, he has no right to do this?…Should we treat him as suspect, for doing such?”…

I would add to this such questions as, “Should we treat Donald Trump [one of the wealthiest business persons on this planet], as though he has no right to write books about making money?”…

He has done this a number of times, after all…and it is not as though he is a disinterested, unengaged, third party who is merely reporting…

No…of course not…it would be silly, to tell either of these people, that they “can not”, or “should not”, document their experiences, and share them with others…after all, they have unique experiences and insight, that probably most people do not have…

Such was the reasoning of Dr. Brongersma….reasoning, I fully agree with…

You may not hold the highest level of trust in “me”…but, that is no valid ground, on which to forbid my voice and input.

Firstly, many of the things most commonly thought to be true about “me”, or people like me, are not true…and are gross distortions.

It should be understood…it is important to understand…that most people have been conditioned, to judge and condemn, under the auspices of an illusion…not on the grounds of solid truth. For most people, this act of censorship, and cutting off, is an unconscious reflex, which has not been held up to scrutiny, in order to validate it.

…To many people are hung up on the notion, that they already, “just know what I must be up to, and what my real agenda is”…and, of course, what they imagine for me, to be “my real agenda”, is never on the level, nor is it ever honest…It is commonly brutal, and inhumane…

It is prejudging…a prejudice…where in, you offer up a stereotype…a straw-man….to “speak for me”…while rejecting my actual voice, and my real input…Then you judge me based on your stereotype…your straw-man…

…something which has absolutely nothing to do with me…and countless others, like me…

This, right here…is the destructiveness of a stereotype, so deeply ingrained into the fabric of a culture…it can paralyze an issue, and devastate the lives of millions of people…because it virtually forces the discussion to shut down, before it even begins, and it holds parties, important to the resolution, in utter contempt…

…Just understand…this distrust, is based upon a false illusion…

Just like modern religions, which have been around since ancient times…we have gotten to the point, where it has become “unthinkable” and “ridiculous”, in the minds of millions of people…to even question the validity of the religion…

…You are rebuked, and thought ill of, for even questioning if the religion is even sound, or if there is a god…because, for so many, all they have ever known, is what they have been taught…namely, that the religion they grew up under “is” true, and that there “is” a god…

To many people think they know the truth, simply because…”It is the truth, and that is the end of the discussion!”…Challenge is “unacceptable”, and “off limits”…just because, “nobody” wants to see the paradigm challenged…

…Nobody wants to see it fall…

…They can not imagine any other alternative…

…Such, is the complex dilemma of the child lover…

…People “just know” we are bad, merely on the grounds that…”they just know”…

…The stereotype is all that they have ever known…

…and that stops so many of them, from opening their mind up to the much broader truth of the matter.

Secondly…are we to presume, that I am entirely void of relevant, practical experience, in the things on which I express myself?

I am, after all…living my life at “ground zero”, of pedophilia…

With this comes many unique, insightful and important perspectives and experiences…lessons learned…

…a counter perspective, to help balance things out, when the extreme prohibitionists go to far…

I’ve existed within the inner circles, and have had many close relationships…for many years…I’ve witnessed many, many, many things, relevant to the topic of pedophilia…I’ve got a wealth of lifetime experience, as the living article…

…Why on earth, would my experiences, and my outlook, “not” be valid?…or ever be unwelcome, in any conversation on this topic?…

Truth be told, I’m rather well educated on this topic, and have much deeper knowledge on it than the average individual.

…I’ve walked a million miles in these pedophile shoes…Who better to consult?…the latest pop psychologist, who’s peddling yet another anti-pedophile book, with the same, worn out theories and stories?

They have not lived the life…They don’t know what it is like, on the inside…They don’t know what it means to be embraced, by the “pedophile” community…

…They only know what it is like, to exploit a social panic, and make money off of it.

Thirdly…is it honestly so outrageous…that someone like Dr. Brongersma…or even just someone like myself…would openly confront the issues, in which we are personally invested?…

…Is it so unthinkable, to defend yourself, when you are under constant attack?

This is the very nucleus, of civil rights, and human rights movements, by the way…

…Of course…It takes somebody from within the persecuted minority to take the first steps, and make a strong stand against the oppressors…Nobody else, from the outside, is going to do this…At best, they will only join in, once the minority has a well established movement, with high exposure and a chance to succeed.

Many people might privately think some things to be okay…but, they’d never outwardly support it, until the social climate started to change…They’d never think of trying to change social attitudes, themselves…

…and, of the minority pioneers, who are the first to fight…these experiences are the same…no matter what minority…no matter who the individuals are, or their social stature…

…They are always, without question, ridiculed, torn to shreds in the media, harassed…the targets of harsh discrimination…the victims of violence…

…We are referred to, as the village idiots…the shysters…the ill informed…the demented…the sub humans, who can not be trusted, and must not be accepted…liars and pure evil, of the worst kind…

…That is the model…This is how it always works…

The people who take the first steps, and remain out there on the front line, are the people who suffer the worst hardships…they are the ones who become the martyrs, and bare the largest brunt of the burden…They commonly don’t see much good come out of their own efforts, in their own lifetime…

…but, the important thing, is to stay the course, until the ice has been broken…You can not slay a giant, with one blow, after all…and the first steps of forward progress, are every bit as important, as all subsequent steps forward.

We are not invalid, for being what we are, and speaking out, in response to extreme attack…

…Indeed…this is the only normal, human response, which can be expected…

Lastly…to wrap up…

…I see no conflict, here…

If you want to understand, and know how to deal with anyone, or anything…then you must approach that person or thing, with open eyes, and deal with it, as it actually exists…You must be open minded enough, to understand that you will have to learn about it, and accept that many, or even all, of your preconceptions were wrong…You will need to be flexible, and change your course of action, when it becomes obvious that a better alternative is available…

…but, you can not understand anything, which you are constantly pushing away…ignoring…calling a liar…stereotyping…locking away out of public sight…

…because, then you will never be close enough to it, to see the real thing, in the flesh…and know it for it’s own, true nature…know it for the fully fleshed out thing, that it honestly is…

You might very well find better representatives than myself…I doubt that I am the “grandest” of them all…

…but, like I said…I’ve walked a million miles in these shoes…

I have every right to share my experiences, when this subject matter is placed upon the table…indeed…my experiences are amongst the most relevant, to this topic.

If you can not even bring yourself to face me…to look upon me, study and come to know me…

…then you have no basis, on which to even hold an opinion, about pedophiles and pedophilia…as you refuse to even acknowledge the wide array of traits and factors, which go into the makeup of a pedophile…you wont even admit to what a real pedophile is…

…Which means, you are nothing but a common bigot…

It takes walking the road, to know the life…

…Are you willing, to walk even just a fraction of the journey, in order to know the subject you are trying to understand?…

3 Responses to “Walking a Million Miles…”

  1. Strato Says:

    It’s great to see your post Steve, and it is as insightful as always.

    Dr Brongerma was a tremendous intellect, and his loss is keenly felt. Nevertheless, he has left us an enduring legacy in his work, and his place in our history is assured.

    As a society, people need stereotypes; it saves them having to think for themselves. It’s the Hollywood approach: give them ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’; keep it simple for them.

    Moreover, political leaders need to propagate such stereotypes, so as to enhance their control over the population. And the media need to embrace stereotypes, so as to grab the fleeting attention-span of the public as a commerical entity.

    Breaking down the ‘myth of the monster’ will always be more achievable when addressing an individual as an individual, rather than as a member of a generic group or populace. This factor should influence the methods and tactics we employ when promoting our message. Selective targeting will have more effect than a ‘mass-mailing’ approach to marketing. Influential bloggers, independent researchers and unencumbered academics have a particular attraction in this regard.

    On a personal note, I would add that the vast humanity and courage revealed by Steve’s words must poignantly demonstrate to any reader willing to search inside him or herself that we are all human. None of us are ‘good’ or ‘bad’, but all deserve the respect of being allowed the opportunity to be heard.

  2. Daniel Lièvre Says:

    This is such a big issue.

    The ad hominem, if not so often expressed in written word, is the one dominant argument playing on the minds of the erotophobic majority when it comes to these issues. It justifies an outright rejection of any rational argument that follows.

    I got this kind of response very often at IIDB. In fact, due to the higher intellect of the writers there, the objection was applied more often to the argument itself than the person. For example “anyone making this argument must be in it for their own selfish personal pleasure”.

    Steve, you have mail.

  3. Steve Diamond Says:

    Thank you, Strato…

    I’ve been reading Dr Brongersma’s “Loving Boys” lately, for the first time. A short while back, I invested in both volumes, as well as a few other scholarly books on this topic, containing writings of Dr Brongersma.

    It is tragic he passed away, and I have very deep respect for him. He was a giant…and you cant help feeling his passion in his writings, nor avoid the conclusion that he was a good, decent man.

    I feel more like I am reading letters from a grandfatherly, kindred spirit.

    I’m looking forward to many hours, of curling up with these (and more) books.

    “Breaking down the ‘myth of the monster’ will always be more achievable when addressing an individual as an individual, rather than as a member of a generic group or populace.”

    Yes! Yes, exactly.

    This has been at the root, of why my online activity since I first took up blogging, has been so personally focused.

    It is why I started telling true stories, from my own life (though I’ve not done nearly enough of this), intermixing all these personal, human experiences with my other posts, containing practical elaboration on other issues involved with “pedophilia”.

    Thank you, Daniel…

    This is one of the primary reasons why I’ve stated in the past, that sometimes the higher intellectuals, the self identified “free thinkers” and atheists are often the most disappointing to me.

    For many, they speak about the ills of dogma…but, don’t realize when they are participating in dogma, themselves.

    You also have those people with the annoying habit of over analyzing everything…and being a skeptic to the point where they just cant get past their paranoia over, “what if the urban myths are actually true?”…

    Many people who have the ability to clearly see all sides of the argument, are crippled by their cynicism and pessimism.

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