I came upon your site approximately 8 months ago, on August of 2004. I will not deny that my very first reaction was one of disgust (which I will come to define later, in this letter), but I will admit that my feelings for this site, and pedophilia in general, has matured quite a bit.
My initial disgust was because of my own past. As of right now, I am an 18 year old girl, with a past with sexual abuse. When I was a child, I was raped and molested by the adults that I felt I could trust the most on three different occasions, by three different adults. This has given me an intense distrust of people, in general, as the child molesters consisted of both men and women.
Upon coming in contact with your website, I began thinking, quite deeply, about why I felt this way. I realized that my anger wasn t necessary at the site, or pedophiles in general, but at the molestation I had suffered.
And then I came to realize that this site isn’t promoting sex with children at all — it’s promoting love for children. Perhaps this love isn’t necessarily platonic, but it is love all the same.
Being a girl that refuses to define her sexuality, I firmly believe that love is never wrong. If coercion, manipulation, and force are completely absent in your interaction with children, there is absolutely nothing wrong. I also agree with your understanding that vaginal (and perhaps anal) penetration of children is not to be promoted.
I want to thank you for your site. It’s helped me come to terms with things that I had previously not wanted to face. Your site made me reconsider my own sexuality, not to mention the vast differences between pedophilia and child molesters.
As a girl, I was always attracted to older men. The oldest I had ever dated was seven years older than me, and I was only 12 years old. And technically — that’s pedophilia. I was in complete agreement with all that went on in that relationship, and I was not at all manipulated. I can attest that children are indeed sexual creatures — but I think it really all depends upon the child. I myself, for instance, began masturbating at the age of 4 years old. But I don’t believe that I was ready for a romantic relationship with anyone until I was about 11 years old. Even now, as a technical adult in the United States, I am romantically involved with a man 4 years my senior. And while that isn’t a big deal now that I’m of age, it was much more so when it was initiated!
I am still confused about the ethics and morals surrounding children. What it all comes down to, is answered in this seemingly simple question; are children mature enough to decide for themselves if they want to be romantically involved with an adult?
The problem with our society isn’t necessary relating to pedophilia, so much as it does sexuality in general. When you are a child, you are taught that you are not to be a sexual being, that it’s wrong or gross . This doesn’t only give children pretense to the sexual world — it also makes them insecure about themselves as sexual beings. Perhaps when our society becomes more open about sexuality, we can see a world in which romantic, (and even perhaps sexual), relationships between children and adults are possible.
I know this email is very here and there, and that my ideas expressed are convoluted and disconnected, but I hope I have conveyed my emotions in a sensible manner.
Thank you very much for expressing yourself, your feelings, and your stories in this website.
Please feel free to respond or post this. Although I am not a pedophile, I am a supporter of your cause. I would imagine the hardest part of being a pedophile, would be the extreme lack of support.
There are those of us who understand; even if we hadn t previously.
C.
Disclaimer: The viewpoints expressed here are those of the author alone and their publication here does not imply agreement or endorsement by Puellula/HFP.