heyyyyyy  everyone,
I am Joshua Adam...
and
“THERE IS MAGIC OUT THERE”

Angel-1 said I can say things on a web page and put it on the computer so
people can read it.  Sometimes I wish that my dad and my friends would
read it... or better yet would listen to me... but if they did they
probably wouldn’t like me anymore.

I am thinking not very many people want to listen to someone that is 13
years old... but I think they should...  Angel does... He listens to me and
he doesn’t make me feel bad no matter what I say about things....  Sometimes
he tells me if I do something wrong or say something that I shouldn’t
say... but he never makes me feel bad about myself.

For some reason adults don’t want to talk to us... and if they do talk to
us... they don’t hear what we have to say... or if they hear what we
say... they don’t think we are smart enough to take us serious....

I guess that is how come I asked angel to help me do this

Angel said I should tell everyone a little bit about my self... I don’t
much like doing that... but I guess I can tell you some things about me...

My name is Joshua Adam ( Joshua is my first name and Adam is my middle
name ).  Forget my last name because I don’t want any one to know that
on the computer. I am 13 years old but I will going to be 14 in Feb. In
school I have between a 92 and 98 average depending on whether i
messed up or not...  I am in the 10th grade but sometimes the people on
the net think im lying about that.... I am in 10th grade because I started
school when I was 4 years old.... then i went into 1rst grade after a couple
of  weeks ...   Besides I don’t lie about anything... so I don’t care if
they don’t believe me about it or not.

   I like playing my guitar and singing in a country and classic rock and
roll band.  The other guys in the band are like 20 something years old to
almost 40 years old but they are way cool... we get along very good most
of the time.  Jon is the boss in the band... Jon and my dad know each
other from college.  My dad taught me how to play the guitar when I was
like 5 yrs. old. I saved ALOT of money for my college from playing in our
shows. I can only play 1 or 2 times a month during school... but on
vacations and summertime we play sometimes 5 or 7 times a week.
 

    I want to go to college and then coach a division 1 basketball team...
but I guess I'm gonna go to college to be in sports medicine and then work
into coaching.

My best friend in the world is my little brother Tyler ( TY )... Ty is
soooooo cool.  He is 12 now...  his birthday was Dec 22.  Some people
don’t understand how come me and Ty are so close but I know why we
are.

I don’t much like talking about why we are close...  but I am  going to
because I think its important for everyone to know.

My baby brother Patrick went to Heaven when I was 9 years old.  I used
to hold him, and rock him, and feed him and he was soooooo cute....
but I didn’t even get to say bye to him because he went to heaven in
the night when I was sleeping.

Ty was too little to understand it.  I luv ty so much because I guess
sometimes dying happens like that and me and ty will never fight because
noone ever knows if God is gonna call us to go to heaven.

Sometimes I don’t sleep so good because I guess I get worried that God is
gonna take Ty away... but I am pretty sure he wont.  Ty was supposed to
go but he is in remission from lukeemia now...

anyway.... I bet Patrick has a mess of little girl angels hanging all
over him :-)) he is sooo cute ***grins***.

um anyway....
I know angel-1 likes boys and it dont matter to me that he does because I
guess I think about that sometimes to.

Angel told me he was gay... I hate words like gay and Homo and  queer
and faggot because those are bad words to me.  everyone hates gays
and says bad things, so I hate those words.

it kinda confuses me because all my friends and even my dad and aunts
and uncles and everyone in my town says its a bad thing to be gay... and
that gays are weird... and they are sickos... and they are going to go to
hell for being like that.

(Adam Cries)

I pretend it doesn’t bother me when I hear them because I don’t want
anyone to know sometimes I think about that.  It bothers me ALOT
though because I don’t understand why I can be so popular now... but if
my mom or dad or my friends find out I like boys then all the sudden I
am a sicko or weirdo and they don’t like me? I don’t get it?  I am not a
little perve or anything geez...  everyone likes me now when they don’t
know... I am the same person now that id be if they knew I liked boys...
but all of the sudden they wouldn’t like me???.. somthing is  wrong with
that picture....

I'm very glad that I met angel because I can talk to him about stuff I can’t
talk to any one else about.  I get very confused sometimes about certain
things, like how can I like boys and girls at the same time, and how come
I am scared that my mom or dad or Ty or my friends will find out about
it... Angel helps me get it in perspective.  Its a good thing to have
someone to talk to...

if I can talk to someone at least I know I am not the only one that is like
this.  Its strange but until I met angel and my other friends on here
that takes the time to talk to me about stuff, I was thinking I was the only
one like this... i felt like i was crazy... I was very scared and moody, and
I didn’t really want to be around anymore.

angel reminds me that I'm a good person and he helps me think about
things I can’t understand.  I don’t think there are any answers to alot of
my questions... but I know angel and my other friends answered one of
them.....
 

I am not a bad person just beause i think about liking boys somtimes.
and i am not a bad person if i talk about it on the comp.

IM NOT A SICKO...
IM NOT A WEIRDO...
IM NOT THE ONLY ONE LIKE THIS THAT IS MY AGE ... BUT THEY ARE
AFRAID TOO...

I GOT GOODNESS TO OFFER THE PEAPLE I MEET IN MY LIFE...

I just wish everyone that read this would know that we are just as
sad as u are when people say bad things.. and that sometimes the kids
that are like me... might think they shouldn’t be around anymore.... and
that is badness... everyone should be able to be happy and live a very long
time...

I am pretty sure thats why kids commit suicide sometimes.....

anyway...
Maybe if you a kid and are all confused u can go to some of theses spots
on the comp ok? but pick out your friends careful and dont let them  trick
you  into saying your name and address and stuff like that ...  and dont
give any one out your telephone number...

“THERE IS MAGIC OUT THERE”

luv Adam